


For Richer, for Poorer

by Mirach



Series: Christmas at (former) Dowling Manor [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Gen, Humor, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirach/pseuds/Mirach
Summary: A few years after the world didn't end, the Dowlings borrowed the ambassador's manor to spend the holidays in England and throw a Christmas party for their former staff. Everyone thinks that now, when they're no longer coworkers, the Nanny and the gardener would make a nice pair. "Everyone" includes Adam and Warlock who became online friends and are trying to put the two together.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Nanny Ashtoreth/Brother Francis (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling & Adam Young
Series: Christmas at (former) Dowling Manor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071128
Comments: 8
Kudos: 102
Collections: AntiChrist-mas Zine Collection





	For Richer, for Poorer

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Antichrist-mas zine, betaed by kaiannanthi. There is an accompanying picture for the story by EglantineC posted [here on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/CJRqvy9lGsg/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link).

The manor's door was decked in garlands of pine twigs, holly and candy canes. Colorful lights flickered along the whole building. 

A woman dressed in all black gave an untrustful look to a team of plastic reindeer harnessed to a sleigh with a fat Santa Claus model yelling "ho ho ho" at regular intervals. 

She gave it a wide berth, adjusted her sunglasses, and rang on the doorbell.

A well-muscled specimen of a security guard opened the door right away, said something unintelligible into a walkie talkie and put on a broad, white-toothed smile. "Welcome to the Dowling Christmas party, madam. Please put your feet shoulder-width apart and hands up for a routine weapon check."

A few moments later, there was a live Santa Claus in the sleigh, and it seemed like the plump Christmas icon had been on a fitness program. He greeted every visitor with a broad, even if a bit haunted smile and a "Ho ho ho, welcome to the Dowling Christmas party, please enter and feel at home."

* * *

"So why do you think they invited all of us? I wouldn't expect that of Mr. Dowling, if you'd ask me," said Miss Thompson, a former maid at the Dowling manor. 

Mrs. Brown, the former cook, glanced around as if to assure nobody was listening. "I've heard he needed to get away from some people in America," she said in a hushed tone. "A tax fraud, is what I've heard."

"Oh, don't you say!" Miss Thompson's eyes sparkled at the prospect of a juicy bit of gossip. 

"Indeed, my dear. So when the current ambassador left to spend the holidays in America, the Dowlings took the chance to borrow the manor."

"To make a party for all of their former staff? I'm sorry dear, but that just doesn't add up in my book. There must be something else behind that."

Mrs. Brown scratched her chin. "Hm, maybe they made it an exclusive staff party so that the people they are trying to avoid can't attend."

"That's possible," Miss Thompson just said, not entirely convinced, when her gaze wandered to the entrance. "Hey, look who just arrived!"

"Miss Ashtoreth..." Mrs. Brown said in a voice even more hushed than when speaking about the ambassador's scandals.

"She has not changed even a bit," Miss Thompson said with a trace of jealousy. "Still in those awful sunglasses."

"Still didn't get herself a man, apparently."

"I thought she was in some cult," Miss Thompson said with the corner of her mouth - the one turned away from Warlock's former nanny. "You know, one of those where you have to stay a virgin and fast for the whole day. Or one of these where you sleep with everyone and drink a lot of booze."

"Nah, I've seen her eat occasionally. But," Mrs. Brown leaned closer, "only when she could watch Brother Francis at the meal. If you could see those looks! I'm surprised she didn't get him yet, such a capable woman as her."

"Brother Francis? Seriously? Well I always thought she's a bit… oh, Miss Ashtoreth! So lovely to see you here! A nice Christmas party, isn't it? Very generous from Mr. Dowling to remember us!"

"You think? I'm not interrupting your talk, am I?"

"Oh, no, not at all! Have you tried the punch? It's excellent!"

* * *

"Ho ho ho, welcome to the Dowling Christmas party, please enter and feel at home," a red and white figure sitting cramped in a rather downscaled sleigh called in a merry tone tinged with a slight hysteria.

"Why thank you, dear boy!" the new guest smiled. "Such a nice idea to welcome guests like this! I hope you are having a nice evening too. Should I bring you some milk and cookies?"

"No, thank you," Santa Claus said through clenched teeth.

* * *

> Spanish_Inquisition: what's the situation?
> 
> Hellspawn668: WMFD1 solving some security issues. And nanny's here
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: go talk to her
> 
> Hellspawn668: I'm hiding behind the chocolate fountain  
>  want to see her meeting Francis
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: sneaky :P
> 
> Hellspawn668: oooh, brother Francis arrived!!!! asddfghjk he's wearing a sweater
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: so??? don't you Americans have a thing for wearing ugly Christmas sweaters to parties?
> 
> Hellspawn668: he's wearing it *unironically*  
>  it's brown and white  
>  it has an ornament with stags on it
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: O.O
> 
> Hellspawn668: brb, he's heading here
> 
> Hellspawn668: I'm hiding under the table :D  
>  he went straight for the chocolate, didn't notice me
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: isn't he supposed to notice nanny?
> 
> Hellspawn668: right… might be a problem with the chocolate fountain  
>  I wonder if this cable…  
>  Ha! Turned it off!
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: :thumbsup:
> 
> Hellspawn668: and nanny's coming here!

1 White Male Father Dude

* * *

"Ashtoreth! How are you doing?" a pleasant female voice sounded just as the former nanny was approaching the chocolate fountain, making her turn around.

"Harriet! Nice to see you again! You are looking well."

"You too, my dear. Have you tried the punch yet?" 

"No, but everybody's asking that so I probably should."

"Eh, it's mediocre," Miss Dowling waved her hand. "I've got a bottle of prosecco upstairs. Want to join me?"

"Of course, I just hoped to meet Warlock first."

"Oh, he's hiding somewhere. He was actually looking forward to the party, but you know, puberty. He'll get out when he's ready."

Nanny Ashtoreth looked around the room, her gaze lingering for a moment on the ridiculous figure with sideburns trying to convince a malfunctioning chocolate fountain to work. Then it stopped at the table under the fountain. "I see," she said with a little smile. "Well, let's open that prosecco and you should tell me all about how you are doing in the States."

* * *

> Hellspawn668: ugh, they're leaving!  
>  I thought she noticed him!
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: maybe she's not actually interested?
> 
> Hellspawn668: you haven't seen them 4 years ago!
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: maybe it was just a temporary thing? People can move on...
> 
> Hellspawn668: nah, that dgo k

"Master Warlock! It's so good to see you again! What are you doing here?"

"I'm… uh… fixing the chocolate fountain."

"That's excellent! I'm so happy to see you being so helpful to others, young master! It would be a shame to have such excellent chocolate going to waste."

"And I think I found the problem," Warlock said and plugged in the cable.

Brother Francis watched the half-solidified chocolate melting and starting to flow again. "Lovely! Come, let's have strawberries in chocolate and you can tell me everything about how you have been."

* * *

"Have you seen that?" Mrs. Brown whispered to Miss Thompson. 

"What do you mean?" the former maid narrowed her eyes suspiciously, replaying the latest moments of the party in her mind. Mr. Dowling seemed annoyed with some security guard and there was some chocolate fountain malfunction. Before that…

"They went upstairs together!"

"Who?"

"Mrs. Dowling and Miss Ashtoreth, of course! What do you think they are doing there?"

"Having a talk?"

"They're drinking, my dear!"

"Well, it's a Christmas party. Everyone is drinking," Miss Thompson said.

"Oh, but I suspect they have been drinking together for years. Mrs Dowling must have been missing Miss Ashtoreth, have you seen how quickly she snatched her away?"

"Well, it's a pity. I hoped to see if she and brother Francis…. Why is he a Brother, by the way?"

"What?" Mrs. Brown seemed to lose her trail of thought.

"Why is he a Brother?" Miss Thompson repeated. "Is he in some order? Because in that case…"

"Ah, I see what you mean. Would you believe I've never thought about it before? Just took it as his name. Brother Francis. Yes, probably left a monastery. "

"So he was in a monastery and she was in a cult? Geez, no wonder they can't get it together! We should help them!"

* * *

"...so I told him, yeah, I'll hold the stupid dinner for your political partners, but we are going to England for the holidays!"

The former nanny laughed. Then she looked at Harriet Dowling curiously. "You wanted to spend the holidays in England?"

"I was getting a bit nostalgic, I guess," Harriet smiled into her glass. "And Warlock wanted to invite you and brother Francis. How's the prosecco, by the way?"

"It's excellent."

"I missed our occasional glass in the evening."

"Me too, Harriet. You know you can call me, right? I've still got the same number."

"Oh, I didn't want to intrude. Speaking about that, I wanted to ask, you and Brother Francis…?"

"Yes? What about us?"

"Well… you two are not working together anymore, so…"

"So?"

"Ah… Nothing. Shall we go down?"

* * *

"Brother Francis?" Warlock asked around the strawberry in his mouth.

"Yes, my dear boy?"

"Do you know what nanny has been doing lately? Is she taking care of another kid or..."

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?" Brother Francis said kindly.

"You two haven't actually met since we left?"

"Met like this? No, actually not."

"But that's a pity. I always thought…"

"Brother Francis!"

The former gardener looked towards the source of the loud proclamation. "Mrs. Brown! And Miss Thompson… A pleasure to meet you again."

"We were just talking about Miss Ashtoreth. Doesn't she have a lovely figure? Still so slim and elegant…"

"Yes, that she is," the former gardener nodded. "You ladies are very elegant too, the green dress suits you, Miss Thompson. And Mrs Brown, you have a lovely necklace."

"Why thank you, Brother Francis," Miss Thompson smiled. 

Mrs. Brown leaned towards him. "Do you know why Miss Ashtoreth is so slim?" she whispered. "Poor thing must have some eating disorder. Do you know I've only seen her eat when you came for a meal? You must be quite special to her."

"Oh, but your meals were excellent. I'm still missing them, Mrs. Brown. If you would be so inclined, I would really like to have your recipe for roast pork with apple sauce."

"But of course, Brother Francis. If you've got a piece of paper, I can write it down for you. But did you know that Miss Ashtoreth…

* * *

> Spanish_Inquisition: what's going on?
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: did you get caught?
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: hello?
> 
> Hellspawn668: I'm back now, got busted out by brother snail  
>  had a talk with him, then sneaked away when the maid and cook came to chat  
>  assdfghjk he's completely clueless!!!
> 
> Spanish_Inquisition: ouch
> 
> Hellspawn668: idk really… maybe I just imagined it? Btw, you coming tomorr

"Ah, here's my little hellspawn! Look at you, you grew up so much!"

"Oh! Hi, nanny."

"Trolling someone over the internet as I taught you?"

"Well, not really," Warlock hastily stashed the phone away in his pocket. "Just chatting with a friend."

Nanny smiled slightly. "I see. So how have you been?"

"Well, quite alright, I guess. Nanny, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, my sweet prince of darkness. It's not about Brother Francis, is it?"

"Err… okay, I want to ask something else as well. Adam… the friend I've been chatting to… he contacted me to apologize for taking my place with my birth parents. Apparently he's the Antichrist and we were switched at birth? Well, it does sound crazy, but it made sense in a way. You knew, didn't you?"

"I did," nanny nodded. 

"Were you in some satanic cult?"

"In a way," she admitted freely. "Not anymore, though."

"Well, that's good, I think."

Nanny sighed. "Are you angry that you weren't raised by your real parents?"

Warlock looked at her with a serious expression. "I was at first. But Adam said that he considers the Youngs his real parents even if he wasn't born to them. I realized it's the same with me. The people who raised me are my real parents. Mom and dad… and you and Brother Francis."

"My little hellspawn…"

"So I was wondering if you and Brother Francis…"

Nanny Ashtoreth smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Well, I was just wondering… you know, now that you are coworkers no longer… there's nothing actually stopping you from… but you don't need to tell me, of course."

"No, I don't."

Warlock sighed, knowing his nanny well enough to realize it's futile to press it further. He changed the topic instead. "They are coming tomorrow. Adam and his parents, I mean."

"Did Adam suggest that?"

"Yes. He felt a bit guilty about taking my place, I guess. But I don't want to change places or tell them, you know. I'm just curious."

"Understandable."

"Will you stay until tomorrow?"

"Of course. I wouldn't want to miss it."

* * *

It was much later in the evening. Santa Claus at the entrance was wearing a brown and white sweater with stag ornaments, drinking hot cocoa, and saying goodbyes to all leaving guests with a genuine smile. 

"Thank you for the party, Harriet," miss Ashtoreth said, leaning on the table a bit tipsily. 

Brother Francis, dressed now only in an ancient white shirt, was saving the last pieces of a cranberry cake from the sad fate of becoming party leftovers. 

Mrs. Brown and Miss Thompson were just saying their goodbyes to Thaddeus Dowling and Warlock was tapping on his phone in the corner.

"Brother Francis and I would like to stay until tomorrow, is that alright, my dear?" asked Miss Ashtoreth.

"Oh, of course," Harriet Dowling smiled. "The guestrooms are already prepared."

"Just one room, please. We are married." 

"You are…"

Miss Ashtoreth winked and smiled at the gardener indulgently. "Shall we go, angel?"

* * *

The next day

"Dad, this is Adam Young, my best online friend. And his parents."

"Arthur Young and my wife Deidre, pleased to meet you."

"Thaddeus Dowling and my wife Harriet."

Hands were shaken.

"And Adam, this is nanny Ashtoreth and brother Francis," Warlock grinned. "They are married."

"Aziraphale? Crowley? What are you two doing here? Warlock, they are the angel and demon from the airfield I told you about!"

"Ah, that makes sense," Warlock nodded. "I always thought nanny was a demon."

(art by EglantineC)

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a NSFW companion piece, [Christmas Roses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271685), taking place after "Shall we go, angel?" :)


End file.
